Content warning
Please note that this story contains descriptions of cat illness and euthanasia, as well as the impact of pet loss on a child.
鈥淣elson kept me company during long nightfeeds with my baby鈥�
For 15 years Nelson was part of Sakura鈥檚 life 鈥� a big black tomcat with a white patch on his chest and bold personality. Adopted alongside another cat, Willie, Nelson had originally come from a home with 26 cats. 鈥淗e was probably the dad of a good number of them,鈥� Sakura laughs. 鈥淗e was a bruiser 鈥� aloof and slightly spiky.鈥�
But to Sakura and her husband Stuart, he was so much more than a pet. 鈥淲e got him before we had kids. He was part of our little family unit 鈥� there from the very beginning. I have maternity leave memories with him, him keeping me company during those long nightfeeds. He represented so much of our relationship.鈥�
We got him before we had kids. He was part of our little family unit 鈥� there from the very beginning.
As he got older, Nelson developed hyperthyroidism. 鈥淚t was manageable for a while, but eventually he was sleeping most of the day, struggling to jump up. Then one day he just collapsed. His back legs gave out.鈥� After a few days of worsening symptoms, Sakura and Stuart made the decision to have Nelson put to sleep. 鈥淚t happened very suddenly. It was clear he was suffering.鈥�
It was especially hard on Stuart. 鈥淗e hadn鈥檛 seen a pet euthanased before. Walking out of the vet鈥檚 without Nelson really hit him.鈥�
鈥淥ur daughter loves watching old videos of Nelson鈥�
Their daughter Iris, who was seven at the time, found Nelson鈥檚 absence difficult. 鈥淵ou can talk about death, but until it happens, it鈥檚 very conceptual. It really hit home when she realised he just wasn鈥檛 in the house anymore.鈥�
Iris鈥檚 grief showed up in bursts. 鈥淪he鈥檇 say things like 鈥業 haven鈥檛 been sad about him for a while,鈥� and then feel guilty. Or we鈥檇 be talking about dinner and she鈥檇 suddenly cry 鈥� 鈥業 miss Nelson!鈥� We talked a lot about how grief isn鈥檛 something you just get over. It comes and goes.鈥�
Looking through photos and videos helped. 鈥淚 found old videos from when we first got him 鈥� before Iris was even born. She loves watching those. It blows her mind that he was here before she was.鈥�
Sakura made sure Iris knew the grown-ups were grieving too. 鈥淚 was just as sad. Her dad was too. We were all down that week 鈥� just showing it in different ways.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 important that kids learn the whole lifecycle鈥�
After Nelson, Sakura thought they鈥檇 take a break from having pets 鈥� but as a family of animal lovers, it didn鈥檛 last long. They began fostering, and eventually adopted Roger, a kitten with boundless energy. 鈥淗e鈥檚 totally different to Nelson 鈥� but that鈥檚 the joy of animals. They鈥檙e individuals.鈥�
Roger has brought chaos and laughter. 鈥淜ittens are like babies 鈥� messy and exhausting. But you love them. Iris loves mothering him. And my son loves having a cat who actually plays.鈥�
Sakura believes it鈥檚 all part of the journey. 鈥淚 think it鈥檚 important that kids learn the whole cycle of having pets 鈥� the love, the care, the loss. It鈥檚 not easy, but it matters. I鈥檓 proud of how the kids coped. It shows them what it means to rescue, and to give a pet the best life you can.鈥�
Our new kitten Roger is totally different to Nelson 鈥� but that鈥檚 the joy of animals. They鈥檙e individuals.