How to deal with the loss of a pet
The pain of pet loss can take you by surprise. For many, the grief can hit just as hard as losing a person 鈥� and it鈥檚 absolutely valid. This page offers expert guidance, emotional support and simple coping tools to help you through, one step at a time.
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Is it normal to feel this bad?
Yes, absolutely. 鈥淧ets are often our constant companions, our daily routine, our emotional anchors,鈥� says Pet Bereavement Therapist, Andy Hawkins. 鈥淭hat makes their absence deeply disorienting.鈥� He explains why losing a pet can bring up a range of complex emotions:
- Lack of recognition 鈥� society doesn鈥檛 always take it seriously.
- Sole responsibility 鈥� we鈥檙e usually their only caregiver, which can make us feel guilt.
- A unique bond 鈥� pets often give us what we value most in relationships: empathy, trust and unconditional love.
- Sudden or unresolved loss 鈥� like an accident or a pet going missing.
- Anticipatory grief 鈥� the anxiety of knowing it鈥檚 coming, but not when.
When my dog died it was like the whole universe stopped and the bottom dropped out of my world.
67%
of pet owners are shocked by intensity of grief*
94%
felt truly heartbroken*
3 in 4
lost daily routine or focus*
What are the different stages of pet loss grief?
You might have heard of the five stages of grief 鈥� denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But real grief is rarely that tidy.
Grief doesn鈥檛 follow a straight line. Instead, we often move back and forth between intense feelings and everyday functioning 鈥� a pattern known as the 鈥榙ual process model鈥�. One day you might feel numb or heartbroken, the next distracted by daily tasks, then back in the thick of sadness again.
There鈥檚 no right way to grieve. What matters is finding small ways to cope, stay connected, and be kind to yourself along the way.
Grief is more like a tide than a timeline. It ebbs and flows - and that鈥檚 normal.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is the sadness and anxiety we feel when we know a loss is coming, like when our pet is getting older or unwell. It鈥檚 a natural response to the bond we share, but it can sometimes creep in too early, pulling us away from the time we still have together.
Try to stay present 鈥� simple routines, play, and affection can help you feel grounded and make the most of each moment.
Coping with pet loss, one day at a time
Grief doesn鈥檛 just disappear. But over time, we learn to carry it in a way that feels more manageable 鈥� and meaningful. Many people find comfort in small routines and acts of self-kindness. You could try:
- Keeping up familiar routines, where you can.
- Making time for small, enjoyable moments each day.
- Using grounding tools like the 鈥�3-2-1鈥� technique to help bring you back to the present 鈥� name three things you can see, two things you can touch, and one thing you can hear.
- Trying new activities that don鈥檛 stir painful memories.
- Creating memory boxes, journaling or taking a walk in honour of your pet.
If grief feels overwhelming, speaking to a professional can really help. You鈥檙e not alone.
Can you take time off work when your pet dies?
Many pet owners told us they struggled to function at work. 鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 allowed time off when my dog died,鈥� said one person. 鈥淚 had to pretend I was ill. I couldn鈥檛 face work. She was my best friend.鈥� Another shared: 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 expect to feel so physically floored 鈥� I couldn鈥檛 focus, I couldn鈥檛 eat, I just cried at my desk.鈥�
While pet bereavement leave isn鈥檛 widely offered, we suggest you talk to your manager or HR team about what you鈥檙e going through. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to pretend everything鈥檚 fine,鈥� says Andy. 鈥淲e鈥檇 love to see more workplaces recognising this kind of grief.鈥�
How to talk about pet loss
Grief can be hard to put into words, especially when it feels like others might not understand.
鈥淚f you're finding it hard to express how you're feeling, try the 鈥楩act 鈥� Feel 鈥� Want鈥� method,鈥� advises Andy. 鈥淪peak honestly and ask for what you need.
鈥淢y pet died 鈥� I feel heartbroken 鈥� I鈥檇 appreciate a little space and time to process this.鈥�
This approach can be especially helpful at work or with people who might not know what to say. It helps them understand, without putting pressure on you to go into detail.
Services like the are free and confidential, and can be a lifeline when you鈥檙e feeling isolated.
Speak honestly and ask for what you need. And if you鈥檙e a friend or manager, just listen. Be present. Don鈥檛 minimise it.
When will you feel better?
There鈥檚 no rule for how long grief lasts. Healing means learning to live alongside your loss. Over time the pain may soften and you鈥檒l be able to enjoy yourself without guilt. These are signs of healthy adjustment. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 get over it 鈥� you grow around it,鈥� says Andy. 鈥淎nd that takes time. Be patient with yourself.鈥�
Pet grief support
Blue Cross 鈥� Pet Loss Support Helpline
The British Horse Society 鈥� Friends at the End
Cats Protection 鈥� Paws to listen
How to remember your pet
Finding ways to remember your pet can be healing. Small, meaningful acts help to keep the bond alive 鈥� and offer comfort on even the hardest days.
Here are some ways to honour your pet鈥檚 memory.
-
Journal your personal memories
鈥淲rite down all their funny little quirks,鈥� says one owner in our Pet Grief survey. 鈥淥ne day you鈥檒l be glad you did.鈥�
-
Create a memory wall
鈥淚鈥檝e filled my hall with pictures of my pet,鈥� says another owner. 鈥淎nd I always say hello to them.鈥�
-
Talk to them
Many people find peace in speaking their pet鈥檚 name aloud. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not silly,鈥� says pet bereavement therapist Andy. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a way of keeping their memory alive.鈥�
-
Visit a favourite place
Spend time in the quiet corners where they used to doze and return to walking routes you enjoyed together. Feel their presence linger.
-
Choose a keepsake
Plant a tree or flower, or keep a pawprint or ashes in a special place. These tangible reminders can be comforting.
-
Support a cause in their name
Donate to a cause they remind you of or volunteer your time.
When should you get another pet?
There鈥檚 no timeline for grief. Some people wait years to get a new pet, others get one much sooner. Think about your emotions, your lifestyle and any other pets you have. If you do feel ready, consider giving a home to a rescue animal. Every adoption gives an animal in need a second chance at happiness.
*Based on the results of the 快活影院Pet Grief Survey 2025