Content warning
Please note that this story contains descriptions of dog illness and euthanasia.
Susan on the loss of her dog, Ebony
Susan鈥檚 Labrador, Ebony, was more than a pet. For over 14 years, she was a loyal companion, a colleague, a travel buddy, and part of the fabric of Susan鈥檚 daily life. 鈥淪he had a huge personality 鈥� bold, confident, devoted, and comical,鈥� Susan remembers.
Susan got Ebony as an eight-week-old puppy following the sudden, devastating loss of Polly, her previous dog. 鈥淧olly died from a ruptured tumour 鈥� it was a complete bolt out of the blue. I didn鈥檛 get to say goodbye.鈥� Ebony became a new beginning.
She had a huge personality 鈥� bold, confident, devoted, and comical.
A sudden decline
Ebony had lived a full, active life, with no signs of illness until the day she died. 鈥淪he was sick in the afternoon and by the evening she was a lead weight. Initially, I thought it was just an upset stomach and went to my yoga class. I still regret that.鈥�
At the vet鈥檚, Susan was told they could either euthanase Ebony straight away or keep her comfortable overnight. 鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 make that call without knowing what was going on for sure 鈥� for my own mental health. I needed to know I鈥檇 done everything I could.鈥�
The next morning, scans revealed fluid inside Ebony鈥檚 body, with only a slim chance of survival. Susan agreed to exploratory surgery to confirm the cause. 鈥淚 went into flowchart mode 鈥� ticking off all the options. That was the only way I could cope.鈥�
Once it was confirmed that a tumour had ruptured a bile duct, Susan gave the vet permission to let Ebony go. Her final memory is of Ebony鈥檚 sweet head tilt as she watched other dogs come and go from her kennel. 鈥淚 kept it short 鈥� I didn鈥檛 want her to pick up on how upset I was.鈥�
鈥淭alking about her keeps her close鈥�
Susan sat in her car afterwards, speaking to her best friend for over an hour, not wanting to leave. She later sought comfort from close friends and had her first prearranged acupuncture appointment. 鈥淚 told the practitioner my wrist was where I felt the most pain, and she said, 鈥楾hat鈥檚 your grief line.鈥欌��
Susan received flowers, plants and gifts from friends and colleagues, which were a great comfort and helped her through those first intense weeks. 鈥淭hey lasted for weeks. I pressed some of the flowers so I could keep them, as a memory of everyone鈥檚 kindness.鈥�
Susan chose the simplest cremation option 鈥� Ebony鈥檚 ashes arrived in a cardboard postal tube and now sit on the mantelpiece. She also has a necklace made with a tiny photo and a little of Ebony鈥檚 fur. 鈥淪he鈥檚 still here, in a way.鈥�
Ebony鈥檚 belongings remain in the home. 鈥淢y new dog Penny 鈥榖orrows them鈥�. It felt right.鈥� Susan also made a photo book of Ebony鈥檚 life. 鈥淭alking about her keeps her close.鈥�
鈥淪ay their name 鈥� share their story鈥�
Susan says grief for Ebony has been different from losing her previous dog, Polly. 鈥淪he was older, and this time I had the chance to say goodbye. It still hurts 鈥� but it鈥檚 less intense now.鈥� The small absences stung: a dropped cornflake untouched, or walking upstairs alone.
She advises others to talk about their feelings and their pet. 鈥淒on鈥檛 bottle it up. Say their name. Share their story.鈥�
Susan also stresses the importance of pet insurance. 鈥淗aving insurance meant I didn鈥檛 have to think twice about treatment. I did everything I could, and I have no regrets.鈥�
After Polly, getting Ebony helped Susan cope. After Ebony, she found a new dog called Penny 鈥� a chance encounter that felt almost meant to be. Susan hadn鈥檛 planned to adopt again so soon, but when she met Penny, something clicked. Penny turned out to be just right 鈥� energetic, adaptable, and a great match for Susan鈥檚 active lifestyle. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to rush into it. But for me, it was about carrying on 鈥� and letting love in again.鈥�
You don鈥檛 have to rush into it. But for me, it was about carrying on - letting love in again.